Life in Balance

I had a bit of a difficult Christmas, living life in balance. Living where we live, buying what we buy, doing what we do. It was my goal to "downsize". To bring back some simplicity. It worked, sort of. I read lots of blogs on Santa or no Santa, on 3 gifts or 4. I like to think that we live life in balance--we don't give a lot, but we give. We do Santa, but do not overdo Santa. We give to the community, and try to give ourselves to one another during this time. We celebrate the birth of Christ-this year we went to Christmas Eve services and Christmas Day Services. We decided to sponsor a little girl in Ethiopia. Many of our gifts were bought "with purpose". We even gave grandma the gift of an Ethiopian Bible that will go to a child there. It felt good, but not good enough. As I wondered through the American Girl store with my sister and daughter it just felt overwhelming. Lots of little girls, dressed to the tee, with their dolls and a bag of items to purchase for their dolls. Many were whining and complaining, mine included. Yet on the other side of the world is our other little girl. Is she laying in an orphanage? Does she have a toy or a caregiver to meet her needs? Is she sick? I am trying to start this new year living in two different worlds. Trying to give more of myself to God and letting Him guide me through it. My kids need me too, so does my husband. Perhaps what I am most scared of is what happens after I actually EXPERIENCE Africa. Balancing life, living in the moment.