Small Sacrifices

We submitted our application to adopt from Ethiopia on Christmas Day. Since that time we have made some small sacrifices in our family in order to move forward with this adoption. For us, a sacrifice may look like this: skiing on the gentle slopes of Lake Nockamixon this winter instead of spending the weekends on the ski slopes, seeing the holiday lights in our local community instead of going to our favorite city on the east coast-NYC, eating lunch after church at home although the kids (and often Marco) are pleading to go eat Chinese buffet, buying drugstore makeup instead of some of my favorite Mary Kay products, having my dear husband once again color my VERY grey hair instead of going to the salon once a month, canceling our YMCA family membership and our daily newspaper, and deciding to buy a retainer for my missing tooth (from my kids orthodontist) which contains a fake tooth to wear at night until I can put in an implant. Yes, I am from WV, so really what is one missing tooth?

Wow--what an interesting list. Anyone who knows my husband, knows how THRIFTY he is. He has never hired anyone to paint, fix, mow, clean, plant, assemble, repair, or take apart. Our very first house was an old log cabin, with oil heat. He once went to the library (this was before the internet) and read a book about how to clean and repair our heater. He has diagnosed many of our kids and pets, and cars-- instead of taking them to the dr or auto repair shop. (Thank goodness I am not quite as thrifty, and do take them to the dr when needed:)

We really do try to make our $$$ go a bit further, but as I noted in my last post, we can always do better. We can do better because we have been GIVEN MUCH. Just thinking about the sacrifices that the birth family of our little girl in Africa is making brings tears to my eyes. They are making the decision to place their little girl in an orphanage for a better life. Maybe they are sick, and maybe she is too. They have not been GIVEN MUCH and do not have many material possessions to give up, they do not have YMCA memberships or a house full of stuff.

They are making the REAL sacrifice, which brings me to the sacrifice that God made for us. His only son. How much is He asking us to give up? He has not asked us to give up our children, but he has asked us to "give".

"Give. Give generously, abundantly, and sacrificially. Give not because your stuff is bad. Give because Christ is in you. Give because your heart has been captured by a Savior who has produced in you "overflowing joy," welling up in "rich generosity." (Radical, by David Platt)

This is the kind of sacrifice I want my family to make for the orphans of the world. This is the purpose He has given to us, and with this we must act. We need to make greater sacrifices. How will this look for your family?

"Always something new to make you happy"

Always something new to make you happy--this is the new Marshall's slogan. I love Marshalls (I actually worked there during college:). I love to shop. I grew up in WV and shopping was an ALL DAY AFFAIR. The nearest mall was an hour away-- so my mom, my sister and usually my grandma, aunt and girl cousins all went shopping together. This always included at least two meals, sometimes three WITH dessert. This also included many hours of bonding, laughing, and bargain hunting with my family. Now, I'm not blaming my childhood memories of endless hours of shopping on why shopping makes me feel good, but it does really make me feel good. I could go all day and spend $20. I can just go into a store to browse for hours, it has become a stress reliever for me. But here is the problem. I no longer live an hour away from the good stores, actually Marshalls is just a few minutes away. As a mom with young kids, I would often tell my husband that I was going to pick up some milk (by myself) and end up at Marshalls and Kohls and Target. This is a problem. It became my drug of choice. Just finding a little something here or there--you know I NEVER bought large ticket items without consulting my husband first. BUT--I was (and still am) very good at buying the little things. "But they were so cheap, but it was buy one get one half off, but she doesn't have a pair of purple sparkly flip flops and they were only $3, but the boys really wanted durags to get into their culture a bit--knowing full well that they would never actually wear them"!! Yes, this is the mind game that I play with myself, and this is usually the game that I play with my husband.
We have a house FULL of stuff. What really makes me happy? What really makes my family happy? All the stuff?? Nope. Well, maybe for a while. Those really cute spring flats with flowers on them might make me happy for a few months that spring. But by next spring, I want a new pair, poka-dots this time. Not because they are all worn out, but because I want something new. Always something different to make me happy--I'm the perfect Marshalls slogan.
My Bible study is working in this very subject right now. YES--I love it when the Lord works that way! Just when I needed it:) Shopping has become an idol for me. There, I said it. (And it is only my third blog post!)Now, what can I do?
During this adoption process, more than any other time in the past, we HAVE to cut back. We HAVE to find creative ways to not only afford the adoption, but afford another child in our home. My husband works hard, and we should have plenty left over. But we don't. This is my deepest, darkest struggle. I manage every month to spend it. And as he says, I can make it go far, but I still spend it. BUT-what I have found during these last few months is that my desire to spend it is LESS! I have prayed that the Lord would just make me NOT want to spend. So--when I see those cute little spring dresses, I now stop and really think. Does Bella NEED another cute little dress? Maybe the answer is yes--actually last week in Costco I found a little flowery dress from Carters for only $7.50. (What a bargain--I know this because they are at least $10 in other stores.) So, I bought that dress. Then lost it. Yep--went to put it on her for church the next day--could not find it ANYWHERE! So, I guess that was a little lesson, reminding me that she never really needed the dress. And hopefully someone found it in the parking lot and needed it even more! But--at least before I buy I really think about it, and sometimes even say a little prayer right there! And guess what --it works. Do I still find myself in a store when I have a few minutes or hours ALONE?? Yep. But often I come out empty handed, and actually the shopping really doesn't bring me to that "high" so much anymore. I still love those times when I can spend time shopping with friends or family, or take my boys on a shopping date with mom--but more as a bonding experience than anything else. I am now realizing THAT is what REALLY makes me happy, the kind of happy that doesn't wear off after one season. The kind of happy that is pleasing to God, to my husband and to my family.